Welcome to the Armadillo Road Reports
Standing backstage in a small, dark theatre in Buenos Aires, more than 6000 miles away from a place that serves as home… or if nothing else, a place where I wash my clothes and pack my next round of bags. The wings of the stage are cramped and poorly lit, and the floor is an absolute maze of cables, cords and various other electrical trip hazards. The infamous neon-pink microphone stand of Twisted Sister sits quietly perched to the side, so close, I can see every imperfection—every mark and scratch from the road. A pair of heavy, meaty hands clamp down on my shoulders, and I don’t even need to turn around to know who they belong to. Mark Mendoza spins me around and shakes my hand with vise-grip strength.
“Thanks for coming, brother. Enjoy yourself tonight. We’re really honored you came all this way for us.”

It is a surreal moment, but one that I will stop and savor, turning it over and over in my mind like a child inspecting a treasured glass marble between his fingers. To be this close to my true childhood heroes—my icons and inspiration—it is beyond anything my pre-pubescent brain could have ever concocted in 1984. How on earth did it ever come to this?

Days upon days of fighting suicidal thoughts, bottomless depression, endless high-school taunting, enduring physical and emotional abuse simply because of what I wore, whose music I loved, and how my loyalties fell. No one ever understood that Heavy Metal was more to me than music; these five outrageously cross-dressed men more than just a rock band, and never could they fathom my frustration when they suggested that in a few short years, I’d forget that a band named Twisted Sister ever existed. If only they saw me now. The untouchable rock gods of my youth were not only inches away, but were welcoming me into their world, even if just for a few hours.

Plain and simple, this blog is a love story. This is about facing fear. About bravery. About throwing caution to the wind. About letting go of materialistic things and money. About allowing oneself to be vulnerable and open, heart exposed to the world—This is about feeling passion for five strangers and their millions of fans that is so strong and complete, that any obstacle, be it physical distance or a neurotic fear of travel, is cast aside so that this true love can be announced to all and shared with others all over the world.

The Road Report is my way of sharing my passion with the world--a way to bring the concert experience to those unable to make the trek. A gift to my fellow TS fans, young and old. As long as the bad boys of rock and roll are on the road, so am I, so that I may bring you all the concert details you're dying to know...and plenty ya don't.
I am an S.M.F.—a Sick Motherfucking Friend of Twisted Sister—and these journals are my real life tales from my travels as “The Armadillo: The Official UN-Official Twisted Sister Road Reporter.”

Stay Sick! Stay Twisted!
10 Countries/11 Provinces & Regions/13 U.S. States/30 Cities worldwide and counting...
The Armadillo Road Report: "It's the next best thing to being there!"